2004-06-02 - 8:03 p.m.
The Closet Door
Things have been calm for the past few days. I have not destroyed anyone's psyche nor have I tried to ingratiate my disease upon my family. Of course this does NOT stop her from bringing it up.
I went to see Van Helsing. I have been told by many friends not to waste my time that it was a terrible movie. I tend not to listen to others when I make my movie choices. I have found that WAY too many people have no fucking clue what they are talking about. So with this in mind, I grabbed my son and headed off to see a wonderful tale about the greatest monster hunter of all time, VAN HELSING.
I would like to interject here and point out that this is in no way going to be a review of the movie. I know that some of you out there want to know what a vampyre thinks about a campy super-hero movie disguised as a monster flick and how it affects them to see vampires being killed left and right. FUCKING FANTASTIC! I loved it. Gas powered crossbows, light grenades, holy water sprinklers.....fucking James Bond of the 19th century. Ok, the acting left much to be desired and the plot had bigger holes that the Titanic AFTER it hit the giant ice cube, but still, it was a wonderful, fast paced action movie that kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. (I won't even go into the women....something about the outfits they have been POURING Kate Beckensale into lately has me crawling up the walls in sexual frustration). BUT, as I said before this is NOT a movie review. It is a rant.
I am stupid. I am an idiot. I need to learn WHEN to keep my mouth shut. When will I realize that the people who you love the most are the ones who are the most prone to lighting a torch in which to start the blaze beneath the stake you are tied to. Why did I ever tell her ANYTHING about how I feel and what I have found out about myself? Why did I EVER think that she would be compassionate in any way towards my disease? And why do I expect her to maybe one-day stop?
Before leaving for the movie, I had to listen to the comments about why I would want to go see a movie about the deaths of 'my kind'. After the movie was over, once again, I had to listen to the same comments. Now, it has escalated into her threatening to use the information to embarrass me in public online forums that we belong to. No, I have never posted about the time we went to the drive in and in a moment of passion found a new way to eat hot dogs. I have never posted about her short stint as a 900 number call girl. I have never used any of the private information about her as a weapon against her in a public forum for the purposes of embarrassment. Well, I am tired of this goddamn closet I live in. So let's all heave a sigh of relief as we all peek in and take a look at the life of a perverted degenerate living in today's society.
First and foremost, I am a vampyre. I believe in past lives and in the ability to harness and focus psychic energies. I believe in religion and also in mysticism. I am also a game player. I spend thousands of hours each year playing games that immerse me in other worlds. Because of my open sexuality, I tend to gravitate towards female characters as a release from the constraints of a society that sees gender bending as a taboo subject. In many ways, I become that female character in those times that I play them.
I am also a fetishist. I love rubber, leather, latex, toys, pain, domination, role-playing, and a myriad of other activities that can be considered extreme. I am bi-sexual and enjoy pleasure as pleasure, from any source. I also enjoy the taboo of the transgendered partner. There is something exciting about the hidden fact that the person you are with is not all they seem to be. I enjoy erotic literature and multimedia. I enjoy masturbation, one on one sex, group sex and even full-on, lights-out orgy-ramas... I enjoy sex in bed, on the floor, in public, in private, in the shower, in the river... In other words, I like sex and I have very few boundaries as to what can be considered unacceptable. I am very open minded about it all.
There, the closet door is open. The contents have spilled out across the floor and the world knows my secrets. Now, if she decides she wants to spill the beans about me, I can just link this post and let them all read what a truly perverted individual I am. I shall use this post as my Real Life Business Card.
Of course, I will be dead then, so it is a moot point at best.
