Lament of the Warrior

I have a need to write. Within my soul is a burning desire to speak about subjects that I cannot express. A tumultuous and seething passion is building within me and soon, it will erupt leaving me bereft of joy. That is, unless I can bring it forth and shout my exhalations to the world.

Every day of my life now is a tortuous existence. Every hour of those days is filled with pain and longing. My heart will not be satiated until I can once again settle my life. My soul has been ripped from me and placed in the care of another. Until I can join back with my soul, I will be empty.

I have resolved myself to this. I have accepted that I would be the cause of my own pain and suffering if I allowed myself this course of action. It was by my own hands that my soul was torn from me and it was by my own actions that it was placed gently in the arms of its current custodian. And now, I sit here wallowing in misery while I wait for a time that I can once again be whole, until I can be rejoined with my soul. It will come soon, this I know. But it will not come soon enough to quell the storm that is building inside of me. I have no rooftop to climb to. I cannot stand above the world and scream my pain. I am not King Kong using his incredible simian strength to clamor to the pinnacle of the Empire State Building to roar at humanity. What I am, is a man. And like all men, I suffer.

Yet, there are forces, forces that wish to see my soul burn. They wish to watch in joy as my spirit withers and dies while my body searches it out. They oppose me, tormenting me constantly. My pain is their enjoyment, their glee. I can find no other way to express my anger then to vent silently. If I allow the furor to build within me, I will surely die when it overflows. The tidal wave of expression that will result will tear me apart like a gale wind tearing through a Japanese village at the forefront of the tsunami. I will not allow this to happen. I will not lose everything, when so much is so close, so dear. I will ride the pain, a surfer upon the waves. I will dance through the misery, a ballet dancer floating across the stage. I will survive the strife, a castaway marooned upon a deserted island.

I have discovered much about my nature these past few months. My psyche has suffered many blows along the way. At times, I can still feel the blunt bludgeoning that has impacted my id and the needle-like stabbing that his pierced my ego. Yet, my spirit soars above it all. I have blossomed like the night-blooming jasmine. Quietly, silently, with a lesser noise than the whisper of a hummingbird's wings, I have evolved. My soul is protected, its caretaker keeping it safe from harm. My spirit is burning bright, even in the face of opposition. My body is strong, strength and endurance coursing through veins that at one time had shut down. I have died and arisen. I have transcended to another plane of existence and now look back upon the paltry world from whence I came and I laugh now. The crows feet at the corners of my eyes crinkle with my mirth. My cheeks shine with a rose colored effluence that flows like blood down my face. My lips curl menacingly in a feral grin of joy. I am happy. I am dangerous.

With my back against the proverbial wall, I prepare myself for the battle that is to come. I check my armor, making sure the metal is bright and it's leather straps secured tightly. I clean my blade, checking for nicks in the edge, sharpening it, honing it. I am ready. I wait for them to come, ready to coil and strike. I am prepared for the bloodshed that is to come and will meet it head-on like a warrior. I will cleanse the souls of my enemies upon my steel. I will exalt their defeats for what they are, my victories, and I will laugh at the paltry offense they bring. I am the warrior. I am the bear. My strength is beyond compare, my ferocity unequalled, and my spirit indefatigable. I will not lose.

Yet, when all is said and done, I will sit here quietly, awash in the pain that has been thrown my way. It will not affect me, it will rush over me like a fetid wind headed out to sea. But when it has passed, when my soul has been returned, when the forces that oppose me have been dealt with, I will be whole once again. Enjoined with the soul that has been given unto my care, I will live my days in peace and love. I will be a man once again and the warrior can rest. But beware to those that will try to oppose me after. I will be whole. I will be free of my pain. I will be fully able to fight with the conviction and prowess of a man who has EVERYTHING to gain. My power will be immense, unstoppable. Take heed of my words and hide from my sight. If I choose for you to lose, there is no power on earth or off that can provide you salvation from my wrath.

You are warned.

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